AVENues Newsletter: Spring 2021 by AVENues

AVENUES

APRIL - JUNE 2021

SPR ING 2021

FEATURED IN THIS ISSUE 3 LETTER FROM THE EDITOR 4-6 PHYSICAL & MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES ...BY SCARLETLATITUDE

7-12

KIMMIE’S ARCADE CABINET PROJECT BUILD

...BY KIMMIE

13-19 20-22

QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH MEMBER HIGHLIGHT: WÜNDERBÂHR

...INTERVIEW BY SCARLETLATITUDE

23 24

F eatured

ASEXY PUZZLE - HIDDEN MESSAGE ACE SPOTLIGHT

in this issue

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Hello aces! This will be my last issue as Editor in Chief. I’ve been here since 2016. It has been a great 4-ish years, but my time has come to an end. Stay tuned for news on our new EiC. As for this issue, we have an article and interview on mental and physical health. Kimmie shows us how they built a cool game cabinet. And as always, we have your responses to our questions of the month. I look forward to seeing how AVENues changes in the future. Keep sending in your artwork, creatives, articles, and other items! I know you are in good hands. So long, and thanks for all the fish! scarletlatitude Editor in Chief

EDITING TEAM Editor in Chief: scarletlatitude Layout: kelico Co-editors: kikuka, scarletlatitude, Kimmie

CREATIVE TEAM kelico, MichaelTannock, ben8884 CONTRIBUTING WRITERS/ARTISTS scarletlatitude, Kimmie SPECIAL THANKS TO: Interview: wunderbahr

PHYSICAL & MENTAL HEALTH RESOURCES BY SCARLETLATITUDE When I am writing this, it has been exactly one year since the covid pandemic started in my area. It has been a rough year for us all – physically, mentally, and emotionally. Here are some resources you may want to use. All links are property of their respective owners. Physical health resources: • PopSugar Fitness: https://www.youtube.com/user/ popsugartvfit “POPSUGAR Fitness offers fresh fitness tutorials, workouts, and exercises that will help you on your road to healthy living, weight loss, and stress relief. Check out Class FitSugar, our do-it-along-with-us real-time workout show to sweat alongside fitness experts and Hollywood’s hottest celebrity trainers. Class FitSugar regularly covers the most buzzed-about workout classes and trends, including the Victoria’s Secret workout, Tabata, P90X, Bar Method, and more.” • Yoga with Adriene: https://www.youtube.com/user/ yogawithadriene “Our mission is to connect as many people as possible through high-quality free yoga videos. We welcome all levels, all bodies, all genders, all souls! Browse our library of free yoga videos to find a practice that suits your mood or start a journey toward healing.” • Body Project: https://www.youtube.com/c/ BodyProjectchallenge “High energy, motivating workouts to do from home. We created Team Body Project to share our passion for exercise and excellent movement with others who want to feel good about their body and experience great health.”

Mental health resources: *If you or someone you know is currently experiencing a mental health emergency, please call your local emergency services (911, 999, 000, etc.).

In 2018, AVENues did a mental health issue. You can find it here: https://issuu.com/avenues1/docs/avenues-magazinesummer-2018 International: • Check Point: https://checkpointorg.com/global/ Websites and emergency contact numbers listed by country. • 7 Cups: https://www.7cups.com/ Call or chat with a therapist for emotional support. USA: • SAMHSA:https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/nationalhelpline “SAMHSA’s National Helpline is a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service (in English and Spanish) for individuals and families facing mental and/or substance use disorders.”

• IMAlive: https://www.imalive.org/ Online crisis help chat UK: • Mental Health Foundation: https://www.mentalhealth.org. uk/ Information and resources for mental health. • Together UK: https://www.together-uk.org/ Online and in person help Canada: • Crisis Services Canada: https://www.crisisservicescanada.ca/ en/ Call and text services in English and French. • Canadian Mental Health Association: https://cmha.ca/ Information and resources. You can look up information based on your location. Australia: • Lifeline Australia: https://www.lifeline.org.au/ 24/7 crisis support through phone, text, and online chat. • Kids Helpline Australia: https://kidshelpline.com.au/ Resources for kids and adults. • Q-life: 1800-184-527 & https://qlife.org.au/ A national LGBT counseling service.They have resources specifically on asexuality, too.

KIMMIE’S ARCADE CABINET PROJECT BUILD BY KIMMIE So, this is a project that I have wanted to do for a long time and finally got around to do it. I remembered that I had a monitor just standing in the closet and then I had no excuses anymore to put it off. I am using a Raspberry Pi 3 as the computer, with RetroPie and Emulation Station on it. I am using Sanwa jlf-tp-8yt joysticks and Sanwa OBSF-30 buttons with Zero Delay Arcade controller USB cards to connect them to the computer. I used a local printing company to order some decals/vinyl for the sides and the control panel with a design I made myself. This will not be a detailed “how-to build an arcade cabinet” kind of text, but more one that explains my journey. I am using MDF/chipboards for the cabinet. I started out by transferring the plans/blueprints that I found online onto the boards.

That took a while and then it was time for sanding everything even so it would fit. I also started cutting out holes for the speakers (I used a Logitech pair) and the monitor. Around this point is when I learned you should not work when you are hungry; I cut out the speaker holes wrong, but I managed to solve it.

Then it was time I start to put everything together. First, I glued and screwed the bracing to one of the sides.

I painted the monitor frame and speaker frame before mounting them to the cabinet so no paint would get on the monitor itself.

Before I started to mount everything together, I needed to decide what the button layout should be. After a quick Google search, I decided to do this:

It is a plexiglass sheet on top of a shipboard board. And then it was time to mount everything together.

Everything went unexpectedly smoothly. There were some rough spots that needed some more sanding, but it was as many as expected. So, it was then time to start on the electronics: Wiring and connecting everything together.

And it is alive! I added the marquee that I made at work with a laser engraver.

When everything was painted, I added the vinyl prints that i ordered from a local printing company.

Finally, I added some aluminium lists on the sides to prevent the prints from peeling off and for a complete, finished aesthetic. It took me around a month or so to build but I am happy with the results. I have no idea how much it did cost to build, but it was worth it.

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QUESTIONS OF THE MONTH

THIS ISSUE IS ABOUT OVERALL WELLNESS. WHAT CHALLENGES HAVE YOU FACED WITH STAYING MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY HEALTHY, ESPECIALLY IN 2020/2021? I’m a loner but 2020 has made me feel really lonely. I don’t have a strong family nor a partner living under the same roof as me, so friendships and other social interactions are valuable to me. I have lost most of these interactions over the past months. Along with the ever-evolving stressful news this has impacted my physical and mental health negatively. My health wellness goals have been officially buried since my sports clubs closed in March 2020, but I stay positive: I did it once so I can do it again when things will get back to normal! This year I also experienced for the first time the fear to fall sick and have to manage it all by myself. In 2020, most of the conviviality was lost due to various measures against a certain pandemic. Because our social contacts were officially restricted in my country, this year introduced the terrible concept of officially choosing some ‘close friends’ over others. I’m usually not craving for physical contact but my allo friends are, so they naturally turned to other friends with the same cravings. I can’t blame them for that. Overall, the priorities were naturally set to consolidate amatonormative relationships. I remained in my solo bubble, trying to connect visually and virtually whenever I could. - Saph Hardly any external forces made me go outside or be physically active, meaning that all the motivation to stay bodily healthy had to come internally. - Anonymous Physically, health is okay. Same as always. Mentally has been a challenge since young mainly anxiety and equating my worth to my results, but oh well I live in Singapore. Last year was hell on my stress though as I just started work at my new workplace (the vibes were bad at my internship and first workplace so my impression about working was hella bad, almost every day I wanted to yeet myself into the void) and am still angsting about my future. Pandemic didn’t help either. My colleagues are nice and helpful though, so I felt pretty ok and not like I was alone and drowning. They genuinely wanted to help, and nobody was fired at the company I’m working at, the atmosphere is great! But then

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again, I work in retail and some customers that came in during the circuit breaker period (basically lock down, we just call it circuit breaker here) were weird as f***. - Gabby Once quarantine began, I never felt more alone. Of course, I was with my family the whole time, but I missed my friends. It took a toll on me. My depression spiked and my anxiety levels were through the roof. All sports were cancelled, and gyms were shut down so I couldn’t find an outlet. I eventually found my love for yoga which helped me calm myself and keep me occupied. - Karalynn C I guess there’s been some stuff going on in terms of questioning. I sometimes think I’m just thinking too hard. Sometimes you doubt yourself just because, but in the end, you know you aren’t trying for attention. I also get some waves of dysphoria whenever I put on anything feminine. As for mental health, I left a friendship that I hated so much. It was a hard move, and I was constantly thinking to myself “Was this the right decision?” because the guy I left thought I, and I quote “stabbed me in the back”. I saw this on his YouTube channel, which he didn’t name me but called me out indirectly. I felt so much sadness and regret, but in the end, logic wins. That feeling in my gut saying, “This is wrong to stay in this relationship” “You still hate him”, I listened to it. And I am happier than before. - M Primarily mental health for sure, staying in contact with friends and having a routine has helped a lot but it is hard to not feel lonely. Additionally, exercise is super important! It’s so easy to stay sitting all day. - Christa Some challenges I have faced are trying to be social but keeping myself safe from Covid-19. I’ve always really been more of a person who loves to interact with others, but Covid-19 has been blocking that, so I could only see at least 1 friend at a time. - Mason Not as active. Not walking as much. No group tai chi meetings (Bummer). So physically, I’m not in the best shape. However, I’m in pretty good shape mentally. I teach, I study, I play, I chat with friends and family, and I have a therapist for the tough stuff. - Susanne Q uestions

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School is a huge stressor, plus my meds stopped working so it is even harder. I can’t sit down and focus on my computer long enough to do anything, which sucks. Plus, I’m an introverted person, with many pre-existing mental health issues, stuck inside a house with 4-5 other people at any given point, not an ideal situation. - Lo I have been battling severe depression, anxiety, C-PTSD, chronic loneliness and have been managing my ADD. It has been very hard for me to study for my school exams, and this year definitely didn’t make it easier for me to head out and spend time away from my toxic home environment. - Alex Aura I deal with anxiety and depression, so quarantine actually was a relief for me. At first it was nice, but then I started struggling with my mental health in new ways. Even though I didn’t have to go to school, I probably spent more time trying to do schoolwork. Procrastination, terrible sleep schedule, increased screen time, having to deal with the confusion of in person classes switching abruptly to online, and being stuck with my family all paid a toll. I knew I’d be going to high school at the end of the summer and my social anxiety had gotten really bad after my lack of socializing for months. I knew something needed to change, so I finally talked about my social anxiety to my doctor and got prescribed medication. I feel like it has helped me feel less nervous, and now I’m even starting therapy to further my progress. - Anonymous Physical health has never been an issue for me it the internal monologue that I struggle with. That voice in the back of your head that goes “you can’t do this; you can’t do that” and “you’re not ready for this”. As well as my favourite one: “you’re not worth it”. - Anonymous

WHAT ADVICE CAN YOU GIVE TO OUR READERS ABOUT STAYING WELL? If you are bored, make plans that you can carry by yourself, start learning something that you like, ... To break isolation

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there are also phone calls, online contacts, shorts walks together outside. When you don’t get answers back, remember that it is hard for everybody. Sometimes the answer may also come later. Finally, self-care is important to face hardships. We all deserve it. It’s also OK to get some help from professionals or friends. - Saph Try to accept the things you can’t change and take action against those things that bother you and you can change, rather than silently complaining and drowning in self-pity. - Anonymous Try to see a different perspective. Instead of “I hate this”, maybe try “new learning experience; let’s see if there’s anything I’ll like about this!” - Gabby This is the time to discover more about yourself and quit worrying about what others are thinking because you’re not seeing anyone right now except maybe through a computer screen. Focus on you. Focus on the positive. It will get better, even if you think it won’t. - Karalynn C Listen to your gut. Don’t make someone happy if all you’re doing is tearing yourself down. Stop any toxic ties and cut it off, even if it means rolling the f****** dice. Even if it means risking everything. It’s worth it. Once it’s done, it’ll make you feel amazing. Even if the toxic person changed, and you still don’t like them, don’t stay. That’s the regret I have. I stayed. And that made him happy, and me feel like s***. But now it may be the other way around. Take care of yourself. If YOU feel bad, take a break, drink water, eat some food. There’s a saying that goes along the lines of “Take care of yourself before others”, so do that. You go first, then everybody else. As for dysphoria, don’t forget that you ARE VERY VALID. You deserve people that care about you, whoever you are. You need people by your side. I may not have the best advice but find people who do. find therapists, gender doctors, etc. Anyone who will help you, it doesn’t even need to be a professional. A family member, a close friend, anyone. Even that person you net on social media who doesn’t even know who you are. - M Reach out to friends! Set up regular calls with them to catch up. And find some way to exercise that you enjoy, I have been doing

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lots of yoga since it requires very little space and there’s plenty of classes online. - Christa If you ever are having a mental breakdown or stressing out about something, take a deep breath and think “everything will be better tomorrow.” But remember to eat well (Breakfast, lunch, dinner, desert, snacks) drink plenty of water and not just pop (soda if you don’t know what pop is), and finally get enough sleep. Go to bed at 9:00pm and read a book for an hour, then go to sleep at 10:30/10:00 which any TV during this time!! - Mason For me, it has been about keeping my brain active, eating well (for my chronic illness), taking meds I need, getting sleep, and doing things I love, with friends when possible. Wellness is more than just exercise. - Susanne Go for walks. It’s cliche and everyone is tired of hearing it but take off your shoes and socks and go for a walk. Put headphones on and play music loudly, skip for part of it maybe. Doesn’t really matter, but I can guarantee that you will feel better after moving and getting some fresh air. Bonus points if you’re barefoot cause it’s good to just touch the earth every once in a while. If you’re stuck inside turn the lights off in a room and play music, maybe get a small light and read a book or play a game on your phone. Just let yourself relax and breathe and focus on existing for a few hours a week instead of surviving. - Lo If there is not much you can do right now to make yourself feel better, do the bare minimum. Take a bath. Take your time. Eat a biscuit. Eat an apple. Drink a glass of water. Make yourself some coffee/tea. Read a book. Get yourself out of bed. Maybe fold the sheets so that the room looks neater. Every single step counts, and you’re doing great, love. - Alex Aura If you feel like something is wrong don’t just live with it. Talk to someone about it. Your health is the highest priority. If you struggle to do things that weren’t a big deal before, talk to someone. If it persists, then talk to a professional. There are a lot of resources, it might be hard, but reaching out can improve your life so much. Q uestions

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Trust yourself, and know that things can, and will get better. - Anonymous What I’ve found that most help is actually trying to calm your mind and focusing on external senses. What can you see, hear, smell and listening to your own breathing. Giving your mind a purpose and something to focus your attention on clears you head quicker than anything. I’ve also found turning to alcohol or other substances just takes you further down the rabbit hole making it worse. - Anonymous

WHERE DOES YOUR OVERALL WELLNESS FALL ON THE SCALE BELOW?

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MEMBER HIGHLIGHT: WÜNDERBÂHR INTERVIEW BY: scarletlatitude scarlet: What experience do you have with wellness or mental health? WünderBâhr: I’m a certified QPR gatekeeper (think a civillian certified in basic first-aid, but for suicide prevention). I have been personally involved in various mental health communities since being diagnosed as Bipolar at the age of 15 (many moons ago). I work alongside Health & Safety at my job to discuss and educate on various mental and physical wellness topics, and am registered with NAMI -- National Alliance on Mental Illness. I worked as an AVEN Admod, years ago, in producing the protocols and support resources to address suicidal content and assess whether additional support was necessary. I also worked as a Capacity Skills Trainer, which involved several mental health aspects of working within the community and team environment. I frequently provide support as an Active Listener to individuals, both on and offline. Currently, I am working toward certification to become a Peer Support Specialist, to use my experiences to help advocate and support other individuals with mental health disorders in improving their quality of life. All of the cold data aside, overall wellness and mental health has always been of interest to me, to help me better understand myself and others.

SL: What advice do you have for people to stay healthy (physically or mentally)? WB: Physical health advice can be tricky. It relies on a person’s individual information (environment, genes, mental health, medical history, etc.), so it isn’t as simple as a one-size fits all soundbyte. The same goes for mental health, in that, experience is subjective. Even if you and someone else share the named disorder/issue, symptoms can present themselves in so many different ways. That being said, there are a couple of basic steps to help people get started, for both physical and mental health: A. Self-awareness. Whether dealing with physical or mental health, understanding your needs, strengths and the areas which could use improvement can go a long way in achieving and/or maintaining what is considered “healthy ” habits and life. The caveat: you have to be completely and utterly honest with yourself and take a realistic look at your circumstances and decisions. This can be hard to do, sometimes, but I believe that coming from an honest place helps to create a solid foundation from which to build on. B. Support. Having a support system, whatever that may look like for you, can be such a boost in helping people be successful in staying healthy. The input, feedback and overall support of those you feel closest to can work wonders. Now, sometimes, this may not be available or applicable. Not everyone has people they can talk to or feel close to, in order to receive that support. Or, they may find the opposite to be true, where they have people who are close with them, but may not be very supportive (sometimes even toxic). If that’s the case, I would advise those individuals to seek out help by finding a local/online support group, the help of a medical/mental health professional, or try to find others who may be struggling with the same issues. Sometimes, finding a “battle buddy ” can provide support in simply knowing you are not alone, and that what you are experiencing is valid.

C. Practicing self-care/mindfulness. Recognize that you are human. If you make a mistake/an unhealthy decision, it doesn’t mean you’re failing. Recognize the incident, learn from it and try to work your way back to progress. Acknowledging your limits, and treating your body and mind with kindness are all ways to practice self-care. It’s not always about the big decisions, either. Feeling anxious? Find an activity that helps you self-soothe (listening to music, creating something, go for a walk/run, etc.), or maybe something to take your mind off of things for awhile until you feel ready to move forward. Honestly, mindfulness is self-awareness and self-care kind of mashed together in a way that benefits your overall health and wellbeing. There’s a lot more information behind all of this, but that would require much more space and time than we have for this interview. SL: What is your favorite snack food? WB: That changes on a regular basis. I think if I had to choose, one of my favorite snacks is beef jerky. It’s quick and not too messy, and it’s always gone more quickly than I expected (or intended--insert sad bearface). It’s not something I get on a regular basis because it’s not exactly cheap, but I like it, all the same. Or blue-cheese stuffed olives. I go full on squirrelcheeks when I have those. Om nom nom! SL: If you could have any animal as a pet, what would you pick and why? WB: Tie between cats and bears. If I could have a cat-sized bear (NOT a bear-sized cat, good lord...that litter box would need to be massive), I’d be all for it, bc yay bears! But I think my first love has always been kittybabies and their li’l toe beans. I’ve heard people say they hate cats, and sometimes for good reasons. But every cat I have ever had, in life, has always managed to bring any cat-hater friends, coworkers or others around in thinking maybe they aren’t all bad. Maybe it’s because of their quirky attitudes, or that many of them ended up acting like dogs, too. Who knows? And bears? Well, they are serious danger floofs. As much as I’d like to have one as a pet, I think they ’d be much better off in the wild. I’d probably be left 100% less clawed on, that’s for sure. But they ’re still cute. Dangerous, but cute.

ASEXY PUZZLE – HIDDEN MESSAGE This puzzle is a word search puzzle that has a hidden message in it. First find all the words in the list. Words can go in any direction and share letters as well as cross over each other. Once you find all the words. Copy the unused letters starting in the top left corner into the blanks to reveal the hidden message.

ACE SPOTLIGHT AVEN is not affiliated with or responsible for other websites listed here

“SIP, SOY ASEXUAL” (YUP, I’M ASEXUAL) A tumblr for all Spanish speaking aces to feel welcomed and loved! https://adivinaquienesasexual.tumblr.com/

KITTEN KOMFORTS - LGBTQIA+ SOAPS For every ace flag bar of soap sold, we’re donating $1 to ace organizations! This includes AVEN, Asexual Outreach, and local groups. On top of that, for every aro themed bar of of sold, we’re donating $1 to an aro organization called AUREA. I can ship to North America and Europe right now. If you want to order soap and don’t see your country listed as an option, get in touch with Heart via PM on AVEN or use the “Contact Us” page on the website and I’ll figure it out! https://kittenforts.square.site/shop/lgbtqia-/6

For our next issue, we are talking about FANDOMS! We really can’t believe this hasn’t been a topic yet! Tell us all about asexual representation in your fandoms. Fill out our questions of the month form here: https://forms.gle/q313B497oDwoDN6M7

REMEMBER,WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR ARTICLES AND ARTWORK TO ADD TO AVENUES! • To submit creative works, please go here: https://goo.gl/forms/QQqfdfOR69niJFoP2 • All creative works also need to be submitted through our copyrights form: https://goo.gl/forms/ciEyCwNew5wjuzVg1 • Send us your asexy jokes and puns here: https://goo.gl/forms/Rg4vlY6XZ7c17bNJ3 • You may also send a private message to any of the AVENues staff on AVEN

REMEMBER THAT WE ARE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR MORE PEOPLE TO JOIN OUR TEAM! SEND ONE OF US A MESSAGE ON AVEN FOR MORE INFO!